Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The wait.

I don't normally blog during the "waiting" period, but I felt inspired today. One week down, one to go. I test on Monday the 18th. Lest any of you think this is easy ... IT'S NOT! :-) I've been here many, many times before, but this time is a bit different.

I have to admit, during past 2WW (two-week-wait) times I didn't really do anything different. I'd go running a lot, workout like normal, drink wine, and try not to think about it. About halfway through, I'd start doubting the process and get discouraged. I mean, yes, I never did get a positive test. Reading back over my old blog posts is sort of discouraging, because there have been so many tries and no wins. I wonder every day when it is going to be the "right" time for us. Sometimes, though, that was sort of my fault, because I wasn't mentally in the game. I was more... uh, along for the ride, maybe.

This time, though, things are different. I'm acting like I actually might be pregnant. *gasp* I'm changing up a few things, just in case. I think I've had like 2 glasses of wine total. I'd like to be able to say I had NONE, but a girl has needs. LOL. I'm doing acupuncture, and man, I feel so much more balanced. I am thinking about being pregnant, dreaming about being pregnant (I definitely had a dream last week where I was getting an ultrasound and found out I was pregnant, and started bawling - in my dream ;), eating better, and trying to take it easy in other areas. Mostly of all, I'm striving for emotional balance and mental health - eliminating negative thoughts and inviting positive thoughts. And prayer.

I've said this before, but during the 2WW I start to try and interpret every little feeling, craving, and mood-swing. Does it indicate more towards + or -? And, how should I know because I've never had a +??? I'm craving sweets, so that could mean something... or it could mean the other thing. To me, the symptoms are so similar. So this time, I've tried to NOT do the symptom-analyzing as much, because it's never worked in the past and it just causes stress!

I will say, taking this progesterone supplement turned me into a super b*tch for a few days. I didn't understand where my terrible mood came from, but finally figured it out. I feel like my body is adjusting now, which is a relief!

Either way, whatever the outcome is on Monday, I feel prepared. I am still hopeful. I feel that ever since the husband and I agreed to start IVF in May/June if we are not pregnant by then, I finally have a "wow, this actually will happen eventually" instead of a "this is never going to happen" attitude. Of course, I'm crossing my fingers that we won't have to do IVF (due to the cost and physical toll) BUT it gives me hope to have that option. I am so excited for this year.

I will keep you posted. :)

3 comments:

  1. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I just had my annual yesterday and I asked a million questions about getting pregnant since we plan to start the process the end of this year. I have always worried that things won't go the way that I want them to, but I'm trying not to fill my head with negative thoughts.

    Keep as calm as you can, as a recovering worrier I know how hard that can be!

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  2. You have such a great attitude. When the times comes, I know that you two will be great parents. Been thinking about you both! <3

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