"Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy -- the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.
Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." Brené Brown
When I say this is a roller coaster of emotions, it's true. A couple of weeks ago, as you know, I was upset, depressed and frustrated. Today, I feel like I'm climbing back to the top, anxious, nervous, and daring to be excited. Stay tuned to see what next week holds. ;-)
So as you may (or may not) know, for the past week or so, I've been doing FSH shots every other day to "stimulate" my follicles, in addition to Metformin, Clomid, and the Ovidrel trigger shot. We decided not to do an IUI this month, which the doctor didn't think was necessary either.
The "pen" looks like this:
There is a wide range of complications that can come out of doing this shot, including ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, ruptured/twisted ovaries, and of course, multiples. :-) I didn't really expect to feel any different with this new shot, but I really can feel my ovaries hurting, like they are swollen.
This past Saturday, I drove to Orlando for my follicle scan ultrasound, and was anxious to see how the FSH worked in producing better follicles (therefore better eggs). As a comparison, I had ONE good follicle last month when we did the IUI, which of course was unsuccessful.
So during the ultrasound, I'm watching her find and measure the follicles, and there is one, two, three, four... five, six, seven ...!! and even more. I lost count. And they were a good size too! I couldn't believe it. In the end, there was probably around 12 follicles. WHAT. (no wonder I'm hurting! lol) The nurse asked me if we were doing IVF because there were so many! (it kind of made me wish we were!)
I was so excited. I know most people are only excited for me because I'm excited talking about 12 follicles, even though they don't know what they are excited about exactly! Hahah. Quite honestly, I don't know all of the details either, like how many eggs are in each follicle or whatever, but I just leave that up to the doctors.
Later that day, the doctor called me and told me to do one more FSH shot that night, and then to do the Oviderel trigger shot the next day (last night). They told me they determined there would be two follicles that would release this cycle, so I get the mandantory disclaimer that this "could result in multiple births" etc etc. and to only proceed if we are comfortable with that risk.
That just makes me smile. I would be thrilled with one, and I would also love twins. ;-) Lets get this show on the road!
The two-week wait begins today! I'm anxious and trying not to get ahead of myself.
Here's to owning my story, choosing to be vulnerable, and being brave.
Keep your fingers crossed.
P.S. I got my hair cut! (and I got Instagram (new iPhone 5 baby)! Follow me @ mrsstrodtman)