I haven't written about our "baby quest" for a while now, and I'd say it's time for an update.
A week or two ago, I had a procedure done called HSG - no idea what it stands for, but it means that someone shoots dye up into your ovaries and watches on an x-ray machine to see if it goes all the way through. It only takes about 30 minutes all total, and is sort of uncomfortable, but sort of cool. I could see the x-ray while he was doing it, and it's so insane to see how tiny your reproduction system is. Haha.
So, anyway that came back normal, which is great. Sometimes people with PCOS have blockage in there which is keeping them from getting pregnant. But, I can't tell you how many people told me that even if it's normal, sometimes just doing the test is "therapeutic" because it "cleans you out", so to speak.
The guy at the hospital that was walking us back to the room before the procedure compared it to a "roto rooter". Humm.... ok, whatever works! :-) He also told us that his wife was having these issues, had the HSG test, and got pregnant the next month. They now have two boys!
So I'll admit, I have been losing hope lately. It's coming up on a year that we've been trying, and still zip, nada, nothing. But, everyone knows that a month can feel like three when you're waiting for something. And I was waiting, hoping, anticipating -- for ovulation. I don't even care about pregnant right now, I just want to ovulate on my own. If I can at least get there, I can relax knowing everything is "working" down there and it's only a matter of time.
I've been paying out my a** for ovulation tests for so many months, I was getting tired of it. Last month I took the medication religiously, tested with military precision, and didn't get jack. Needless to say, this month I wasn't as excited to try it ... again.
So I took the medication halfheartedly. I even forgot the last pill and found it two days later sitting right where I left it, so I took it. I sort of counted the days to when I was supposed to test, but not really. The weekend I was "supposedly" going to ovulate I was going to be out of town, and sure as hell wasn't bringing along those pee sticks in my luggage. So I didn't. I drank like a sailor all weekend without a care in the world. I noticed a couple of nights my ovaries were hurting and cramping (abnormal for me), but chalked it up to the affects of the HSG test... and maybe I was mistaking my ovaries for my liver. Ha.
Well, Monday was Labor Day and I was off work. I looked at the calendar and figured out it was day 19 or something (of my cycle) and thought "Oh damn, I was supposed to test on days 12-17... oh well". I figured I should take a test - JUST IN CASE - and also so I could at least tell Eric that NO I WASN'T ovulating again this month (he always wants me to test like a mad scientist).
Smiley face (yes I enhanced it on Picnik... lol) = OVULATING!!!!
I nearly fell over when I saw that! It might as well have been a pregnancy test, I was so excited!! Eric was sleeping, so I said "You've got to see this babe!" and turned the light on and shoved it in his face. LOL. He was so confused, mostly because he just woke up, and mumbled "What is that?" I said, "It's a smiley face!!!" He's like... "... what does that mean?" LOL.
This is the best news I've had in a while! I even called my doctor and told her! LOL.
Now, we wait and see. I guess the moral of the story here is exactly what everyone told me early on: When you stop "trying", it will happen. I mean, there are certian things you HAVE to do, like take pills and test occasionally, but I think the idea is my attitude. I'm so far out of control of this situation, when I take a step back and accept that, maybe it will happen. There is a difference, however, between giving up hope and giving up control. I'm still working on that.
Fingers crossed. ;-)