Thursday, July 21, 2011

Communicate much?

Last night we had every intention of going to bed "early", which of course did not happen.

Does something ever just hit you, and you feel like you should talk about it right then? Something that's been in the back of your mind for a few days, and the right opportunity comes and you take it?

I'm not a big communicator, I'll admit. I hide a lot of things from a lot of people. The thing is, I don't think I intentionally hide things, I just don't show a lot of emotion, so it leaves most people in the dark about how I really feel. Further, things usually linger in my mind for several days while I think it through, before I'll say anything about it.

There are a handful of people who know this about me. Apparently my husband wasn't one of them, until last night. But like most women, I expected him to just read my mind and have the telepathy skills required to pick up on my emotions. So last night I brought something up that he had said to me last Sunday. He was confused because at the time he said it, I didn't seem upset at all or say anything about it.

I proceeded to enlighten him with how my brain works (which is slowly), and how I'm a "processor" vs. a quick reactor. I gave him an example of how my mom knows this about me - and when my parents called me to tell me they were moving to Indiana, I had no reaction over the phone. I was all "ok, that's cool."  She said they got off the phone and Dad remarked to her how well I took the news.

"Just give it a few days" my mom said.

Sure enough, I blogged about it the next week (I can't find the link right now, but if I do I'll post it), unloading all of my emotions and reactions. I just think about things for a while before I respond/react.

So anyway, last night Eric and I just laid in bed and talked for probably about two hours. But I really think I needed that. We're so busy, we don't get a lot of opportunities to just talk. It wasn't planned, but it works better that way I think.

Last week on Keeping up with the Kardashians, Kris and Bruce were having an argument over something stupid (don't we all?), and they worked it through - which is something I love about them. At the end of the episode, she said something which I thought about last night. Referring to marriage being a lot of work, her advice was to "Communicate, communicate, communicate. Oh yeah, and you could always communicate."

Good advice.

3 comments:

  1. I'm like you, I hold things in and take a long time to process things. There have been times when I've been really pissed at Andrew but I just didn't say anything because I also happen to hate confrontation.

    I also get annoyed because I've taken so many communications classes and know how valuable good communication is, but he wants to make things funny and light-hearted. I know he's just trying to make me feel better but its more annoying that anything else.

    I agree, communication is SO important but I can totally see where you're coming from!

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  2. It's so great to have those moments.. a wonderful talk out of the blue. By the way, Happy belated Birthday! How fun that we are both July babies!

    xo
    Rachel

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  3. Yeah communication really does help things!!

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