Posted March 4th, 2011
I had a doctors appointment today to ask about my burnt lips. I haven't had a PCP since we switched insurance and Eric got out of the Air Force, so this was sort of "meet your new doctor" day. I wanted to get Dr. Stephanie Haridopolos because her husband is a state Senator and is all famous. And she's pretty, young and has super blonde hair. And her name is Stephanie. Hello.
But instead I get Dr. Ogata, an older Asian lady with black hair. And her first name is Sandra. But, whatevs. All doctors are the same right? Secretly I was going to talk about getting pregnant and all of my fears/worries, but I didn't want to start with that. So basically I ask her about my lips, she says I have herpes, (for you geniuses out there, herpes is also known as a cold sore...) and is going to give me a pill. Nice. Great news so far.
Then I slip in, "Hey, I have an unrelated question..." and start asking Dr. Sandra about a referral to a gynecologist. She keeps asking questions, and we go down the pregno road. She says that sometimes it can take up to a year to get preg after getting off BC. Somehow I knew that in my head, but hearing it come from the doctor was sort of depressing. I don't want to wait that long! She said she can run tests, but she's not concerned yet, so I could wait a few months.
I tell her to run the tests.
Besides that, I've gained weight. Oh please, don't roll your eyes and pretend I haven't. When I stepped onto the scale at the doctors office this morning, it was the first time in months, and there's a reason for that. I all but covered my eyes pretending not to see, but then she says the three-digit number out loud. AHHHH! My tender virgin ears!
I've been in denial, and have been telling myself that "it's for the baby", but, hello, there's no baby yet. All this fat is just for me. I must've gained about 15 pouunds in the past few months. That is awful. I want to do something drastic, to at LEAST get back to where I was before I ACTUALLY start packing on the pounds with a REAL baby inside me. But then, I'm torn to do anything that could get in the way of me getting preg. Like I have this friend on Facebook who's doing this "Body by Vi" thing with like healthy smoothies or something, and she's lost like 15 pounds and tons of inches and I want to do that. But I think Eric won't let me because we're trying to get preg.
So I don't know what to do. But I've seriously got to do something. Because every month, I'm like, "Ok, not preg yet, time to lose weight", and then I don't do anything, and then I'm not prego again, and it keeps going and going and going. Fat, fat, fat.
Besides all that, once Dr. Sandra found out that we're trying to get preg, she wouldn't give me the herpes pill because it could cause fetal damage or something like that. So I have herpes on my lips, 15 more pounds on my hips, and no baby. FML.
I don't know what to do. For starters though, I consoled myself with a #10 at McDonalds on the way back from Dr. Sandra's office. We're off to a good start.
P.S. But hey, I feel like shit today, which is good news in my world. It could mean I'm FINALLY going to ovulate soon. This weekend would be nice. Eric is off so we could have lots and lots of sex.